Whats the storyyyyyyy (Dubliners' stories)

We really need a thread about Dubliners,their funny accent,the strange words they use,their "skanger"culture (if you can call it a culture!! ) and all their stories...

How many times have you heard someone saying "I heard from a friend of a friend...."
well thats the place where you can write all them storiiiiies!

Irish people dont be mad at us,"we still bleeding love yous"

A friend of mine (Irish) was called at the Four Courts for a trial,as part of the peoples judge (or whatever it's called).
After a few hours in the Court case,he real jury (judges) had to discuss a private matter,so the "normal" people were sent back home,as their civic dutie was over.

All of them,happy as Larry,walked off the Tribunal,heading home,but a guy from Tallaght didnt move.

He looked at my friend,who is a bus driver,and said "How do I get back home?"
"What do you mean,did you not say you're from Tallaght?"
"Yes,but I have never been outside of it,and I dont know how to get back home!"

I swear this is a true story of a couple of months ago.
The guy was about 26.

That's nothing!

My Ma was at a family Funeral a few years ago, didn't know the relative that well though.

Anyway my Ma was surrounding the Coffin at the Funeral Home, it was an open casket, she had her sisters by her side and a few Oul' Wans or (Scarves around the head Trolley wheelers) Old Dublin Women on the other side of her. The close relatives were pretty upset.

So the Oul Wans were talking, whispering and my Ma could over hear them...

"Jaysus Bridie, I haven't seen ye in yeerrs, your lookin' very well your colour is only massive"

"Howya Josie, thanks you're looking very well yourself, I was in Puertobenooose for d'Holiers, me and Sheamy, he was only ravaged by dem Malteasers so he was"

"Ye shudda got da spray Bridie I always cover meself with dat Insect Replenishment stuff it's only marvelous so it is"

So my Ma and Aunts over hear all this and bury their hands in their heads crying laughing, pissing themselves, visibly shaking tears streaming down their face.

So Bridie puts her arm around me Ma and says "ah there there love, sure she died a lovely death say a payer for her".

Il Guelfo

PS. on the post below, please note that:

MALTEASERS (very popular brand of chocolate)= MOSQUITOS

INSECT REPLENISHMENT = INSECT REPELLENT

Gossip : Stellina is addicted to Malteasers

Instead of red roses, jewels or sport cars... just a Malteasers 10 pcs. box

For all of you who live in Dublin,a fantastic website:

www.overheardindublin.com/index.php

Some of the storiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies are really funny,
here is one for example:


I was outside Spirit nightclub one Sunday night and there was this obvious gay guy smoking in an arch and these two skangers were staring at him and after a few minutes they approached him and said:
SKANGER: "he-or Mister, are you gay?"
GAY GUY: "no, are you a knacker?"
SKANGER: "no I only asked cos ya look gay."
GAY GUY: "well, if ya had've told me you were a knacker, I would've told you I was gay."

Overheard by GaryD, Outside Spirit nightclub
Posted on Wednesday, 26th April 2006

boards.ie
Afterhours

that's enough

Good pitch Sham ,
here's my little contribution...

Back in the 2000 I was in Dublin with a friend of mine and we were invited at a xmas party of the bank (a small one) were he used to work for. We arrived at the 4 seasons hotel, southern dublin, after the dinner and before the dance just in time for free drinking and acquaintances. The music, there was a dj, went on till 2:00 am and so the drinking. Before leaving the hotel Brian decided to extend the party at his place so we called about six taxis to get to him, he shouted his place to everyone who jumped in the taxi: ovoca road.
Well, me and my friend took a taxi with two girls, one returned to dublin since a long time and the other was german, the driver asked again the address and we repeated: ovoca road.
after a quick check at the roadmap book The driver took us to the place, silent houses all around, we were puzzled and so we rang the bell at number 10.

- Is this brian's house?
- yes, said the guy

we let the taxi go sure it was the right place

- Where's Brian?

just after asking a man came to the door saying:
- here I am, Brian O'connor.

The wrong Brian and the wrong place and the taxi was gone.
We were at Avoca road in BLACKROCK...with the silence, the trees, the sleeping houses, bit 'o drunk and no taxi around.
Christine, the irish girl, called Brian with the mobile and the only shouted words I remember were:
Spell it Brian, Spell it...

afterwards she stopped a car, in a policeman stance with the arm stretched out, and a gentle redbearded men took us to ovoca road, Dublin, at brian's place.


linog

[Modificato da =Linog= 06/05/2006 12.03]