A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole goddam day to drive from one side of my ranch to the other."
The Kerry farmer says:"Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over here too."
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Q: What were the Republicans doing while the Loyalists were building the Titanic?
A: Building an iceberg.
***
An English MP was addressing a crowd in Belfast. He stated to the masses "I was born an Englishman, I've lived an Englishman, and by God I shall die an Englishman!" Then, from the back of the crowd, a voice yelled "Shite man, have ye no ambition?"
***
"Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?" asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt. "Do we now?" came New York Mayor Al Smith's reply.
_______________________
"Take me home to Mayo,
across the Irish sea
Home to dear old Mayo,
where once I roamed so free"