Cork Vs Galway Preview
Finbarr Barry
Hopefully you’ve had the foresight and faith to have booked next Monday off work - Cork boss John Allen will make his mark on Sunday when he engineers another historic victory for Cork in the All Ireland final.
Last year we revealed how his predecessor Donal O’Grady took a non-chalant approach the night before the All Ireland final: balmed out in a red leather arm chair clad in a silken dressing gown he smoked cigars and sipped champagne in his Dublin hotel room whilst browsing the final chapter of his 2004 master plan – “Defeating Kilkenny”.
There was no question of defeat in 2004’s final - the only thing O’Grady had to decide was how much pain he should inflict on Kilkenny. In the end they got away with a mild eight points – a resounding defeat but not a hiding by Cork standards. Now the hurling force that was Kilkenny has been reduced to rubble Cork face new opponents on Sunday: Galway.
MOTIVATION
John Allen knows he cannot be complacent or casual about his approach. Being in the doldrums for years this Galway side are unpredictable. Last year O’Grady had vast experience of playing Kilkenny. He had lost the year before and cunningly worked out a way to beat the Cats. The task in creating the 2005 master plan has not been so simple for Bainisteoir Allen especially in his first year at the helm.
Putting a Cork hurler on to a field against Tipperary, Waterford or Kilkenny is like sending a hungry lion among a herd of deer. You get similar passion every time Shels or Shamrock Rovers visit Turners Cross. There’s an in built rivalry there that psyches a team up before a ball is kicked or pucked.
THE ENDAS
Galwegians on the other hand are an odd bunch. Most local males are called Enda. They are bland but likeable and in the back of your head you wouldn’t begrudge Galway an All-Ireland….well lets say the thought of it doesn’t provoke as much distain as the thought of John Mullane carrying the Liam McCarthy Cup around the Deise would and we’ve already mangled Galway’s footballers.
This lack of instant passion and rivalry is what will worry Bainisteoir Allen as he sits down to prepare the manuscript for Sunday. For example many of Cork’s players might have enjoyed holidays in Galway over the years and Allen has to make sure the likes of Timmy McCarthy and Joe Deane don’t start day dreaming about sandcastles and getting nostalgic about trips to the Arran Islands as soon as they see the maroon jersey run out on to the pitch on Sunday.
Cork players who suffered along with the rest of us under the ruthless rule of Cork Main Drainage Scheme may also feel a certain degree of camaraderie with their Galway counterparts. Galway’s Eyre Square has become one of the most infamous and comical urban renewal projects in the 32 counties causing wide spread disruption and chaos in Galway for what seems like the last 15 years.
What if Brian Corcoran starts a conversation with full back Regan and both of them trade stories and become absorbed in a 30 minute bitching session about the state of the country’s roads completely oblivious to the game around them?
To combat this Bainisteoir Allen is taking a different approach this year to ensure the troops win their final battle of the season on Sunday afternoon and pulverise Galway.
DEEP IN THE HILLS
Deep in the hills and glens of the Cork countryside this week you will find the Cork team and their crew preparing for the 33rd and final game of the 2005 hurling championship. Ditching modern training methods like gym sessions, hot tubs and massage the senior squad will instead find themselves experiencing ancient training techniques used by great Gaelic warriors – techniques from times when going hurling may have meant returning home without a heart beat and a head.
In wild rural areas of Cork like Glenville, Farran, Sheep’s Head and Outer-Ballyvolane the Cork squad will don face paint, wear animal hide and predator boots will be ditched for bare foot battle.
The otherwise neat spectacled Bainisteoir will transform into a cloaked bearded (you saw the stubble in the semi) elder who will sit his troops around the campfire late on Friday night to tell his players stories of Ireland’s legends and their great battles. The players do not need any prompting or interpretation as to the meaning of the stories he tells them about the heroic battles of Knights of the Red Branch and the troops of Queen Maeve.
The team will spend the night performing ancient pre-battle rituals deep in a Cork forest. Dancing and chanting around the camp fire they will be rallied by Captaen Ó hAilpín already decorated with military honours from last year’s final and 99.
The battalion will ferociously chant “GHEOBHAIGH SÉ BÁS!” in unison each time Seán Óg screams a name from the Galway team sheet. Blood pressures soar as Rebel soldiers roar and even sweat appears on the brow of Ben O’Connor for the first time since his Junior Cert results night.
EXPLOSION
Suddenly an explosion over the campfire startles the gathering. Suspicions that Sully had mistakenly thrown one of his deodorant cans on the fire are quickly averted when through the cloud of smoke the image of Donal O’Grady appears. Levitating above the flames he makes any Indian yoga master look like a boy scout in his silken robes. He speaks thoughtfully with great wisdom. Joe Deane giggles to himself as he is reminded of Yoda from Star Wars:
“I have not left you my dear people. I am always here in spirit. Do as your Bainisteoir commands you and you will be victorious. I will be with you on Sunday and hopefully I will make it to the hotel afterwards for a few scoops. G’wan now or ye’ll miss the bloody train. Slán libh.”
MAGIC POTION
In flash he is gone. Before the team departs the wilderness for the train station, team wizard Dr. Con Murphy will stand over a large black cauldron full of magic potion made from drisheen, clover, crubeens and other mysterious ingredients. It will have taken four days of careful attention to ancient scripts to concoct this wondrous brew.
As Bainisteoir Allen calls out the surnames of his starting fifteen as gaelige each player steps forward and is administered a ladel full of liquid from Doc Murphy’s mysterious nutritious tonic (administered of course with a Club Energise branded ladel in case the players get upset).
The rest of the media, the players and the officials at Pairc Ui Rinn will have you believe that the Cork team will be residing in the pristine opulence of a super posh hotel in Dublin on Saturday night. Don’t swallow it – you know there’ll be strange goings-on deep in the Dublin mountains all night....
Verdict: Total Galwegian collapse.
Bainisteoir Allen reveals hurling secrets to his army at a hidden training camp
© 2005 by PeoplesRepublicOfCork.com