I consigli di ThePeopleRepublicOfCork su come passare un indimenticabile giorno nella capitale dei romantici:
PRC's Guide to Spots Places in Cork
Just because we’re not known internationally as the love capital of the world doesn’t mean we’re not. Cork feens have always been extremely romantic – always sensitive to their old doll’s needs and of course desires. Let us guide you through a few pointers for next Tuesday:
Fighting For Love
In this age of peace in our country there’s little, besides a game of quasar or paintball, for broody Corkonians to take up arms against. Millions of years ago when we were apes, we would beat up other apes from other parts of Cork – hoping our manliness would sufficiently impress local females. Although this still goes on to a certain extent it is limited to people who wear goldy sovereigns but Cork males still need some way of proving their worth in battle in front of their beour.
Inchadoney: What old doll wouldn't be willing to "receive the hand" in this romantic setting?
If his old doll needs a cheeseburger after the pub the Cork feen will gladly go “into battle” for the hunger of his loved one. Struggling through walls of elbows, semi-intentionally out stretched legs and trays of junk food he will eventually reach the fast food outlet’s counter.
Here, by demanding preferential treatment by somebody who barely speaks English, he will ensure that his old doll is fed as soon as possible. He couldn’t let her empty wretch on the way home – its better to have something to get rid of.
Lover’s Walk
Views are romantic. We read it in a book. Being able to see long distances from a height triggers that warm feeling of security in a relationship that we all believe is going to last forever. The appropriately named Lover’s Walk has one of the best views of the city from the Northside. Despite all the jibes and jokes Northsiders have always looked down on Southsiders – physically at least.
The handy thing about bringing your old doll up to Lover’s Walk is that Montenotte is a bit posh too. She’ll love that. Sunday afternoon is the best time – there’ll usually be a game on in Pairc Uí Chaoimh and you can see right into the stadium from on high.
Inchadoney Beaches are also pure romantic because they remind us of
sunny faraway places like in Home & Away. Although the not-so-hot looking surfers and driving rain from the Atlantic will dampen the atmosphere somewhat large open spaces again give that remarkable dreamy feeling of love’s security.
Inchadoney is also good for celebrity spotting – most Cork teams frequent the beach for training from time to time. Don’t forget to throw the hurleys and a sliotar into the back of the car before you head off. You never know what hurling stars might be found jogging along the shoreline willing to pretend you were having a puck around with them while your old doll takes the picture on your camera phone.
Beara
The beautiful Beara peninsula is further away by car than Paris is by flight so you can convince yourself that its definitely more romantic than a load of aul fellas sitting around eating light weight bread and cheese and sipping tiny cups of coffee speaking French.
Quiet spot: Big mountains, bushy fields and smooth seas. All the things you need for daycint romance.
Beara has all that instead of cappuccinos the locals sit outside bars with pints of a very different black liquid. The croissants and cheeses are also replaced by stout.
Between Hungry Hill and the Healy Pass you’ve staggering heights that offer spectacular views far superior to anything from a man made hulk of steel in the middle of Paris. There’ll be less people around too so you won’t feel so embarrassed when your old doll gets overcome by the romantic atmosphere of Beara and starts mauling the face off you at random moments through out the weekend.
Writing a Love Song
While most Corkonians would not be able to claim major success in the music industry we are, as a nation, endowed with vocal chords of remarkably sweet nature.
If one Cork feen can write a song about losing his jumper at a disco and have it go to number one in the charts then think what a little effort from you will do on Valentine’s Night.
If ye don’t currently “cohabit” the best place to do this is of course outside her gaf at night. The neighbours shouting at you form their bedroom windows are solid proof of just how far you’ll go in showing your love for her.
A guitar will also add some meat and rhythm to your song especially for the outro’s climax after the sixth verse praising your old doll’s various attributes. It doesn’t matter that you can only play A major, and D (except the odd time when your fingers slip) – the likes of Paddy Casey have been getting away with this for years!
The old doll you're trying to impress will love this lah.
© 2006 by PeoplesRepublicOfCork.com
[Modificato da Corcaigh 10/02/2006 14.10]