Corkman Jokes

Explanation

A Corkman was explaining the mysteries of Science and Telecommunications to his little son. 'The telephone', he told him, 'is like a big dog with his tail in Cork and his head in Dublin When you step on his tail in Cork, he barks in Dublin'.
"That's a wonderful explanation', said the little boy, 'now explain to me about the radio'
'The radio is exactly the same, my son', said the Corkman, 'but without the dog'.

Sean

'Throw it in the basket', said the Corkman, Til read it later'. A Kerryman and a Corkman were taking an intelligence test.
'What bird does not build its own nest?' the examiner asked.
'The canary', said the Kerryman, 'he lives in a cage'.
'The cuckoo', said the Corkman.
'Very good', said the examiner to the Corkman, 'how did you know? '
'Everybody knows the cuckoo lives in a clock', said the Corkman.


SeanUptheDub

An Au Pair Girl In A Farmhouse Near Cork City Writes Home

Bonsoir Maman,
Cork est une ville tres interessante. Ooooh, so soree. You deed tell me to use Eenglish. Eeet will be deeficult beecause the Eenglish speeked here ees funee. Vords like PAN A, Aroo (vich means 'are you'), Bai for garcon boy and Housaboutit for vell even an au pair must have some fun.
Cork ees full of writers and fighters, theenkers and drinkers, larners and farmers. Eet could be called a place bulging weeth brains and bullocks many many bullocks.
Tout va bien-ooh, there I go again. Theengs are good in home where I stay. Lady she go to sometheeng they call Beengo. Man he do sometheen they call 'Having a Ball' in local tavern. I theenk ball he have ees not 'dance' but some-theeng they call 'ball of malt'. It well they go out, however, for when they in house together wowee. The shouts and the noises! They scream vords which they find in top newspaper during week and in bottom newspaper on Sunday. Mmmmmmmmmm am I getting eet? Sunday, Monday, Tuesdaygrrrrrrrrrrr!
I go to what they call 'hurling match'. They heet ball weeth stick. 'Meeting' they call 'Pucking'. They have some very beeg puckers. Last Prime Minister he was a pucker. I deed try to do some pucking around weeth the boys myself but they vere very rough. They pucked so hard!
Veil, that ees all I have to say. Au revoir or as they say here,
May the via rise weeth you,
Maria.
P.S. Vould you mind eef I took lessons in pucking? There ees so leetle else to do here.