That's nothing!
My Ma was at a family Funeral a few years ago, didn't know the relative that well though.
Anyway my Ma was surrounding the Coffin at the Funeral Home, it was an open casket, she had her sisters by her side and a few Oul' Wans or (Scarves around the head Trolley wheelers) Old Dublin Women on the other side of her. The close relatives were pretty upset.
So the Oul Wans were talking, whispering and my Ma could over hear them...
"Jaysus Bridie, I haven't seen ye in yeerrs, your lookin' very well your colour is only massive"
"Howya Josie, thanks you're looking very well yourself, I was in Puertobenooose for d'Holiers, me and Sheamy, he was only ravaged by dem Malteasers so he was"
"Ye shudda got da spray Bridie I always cover meself with dat Insect Replenishment stuff it's only marvelous so it is"
So my Ma and Aunts over hear all this and bury their hands in their heads crying laughing, pissing themselves, visibly shaking tears streaming down their face.
So Bridie puts her arm around me Ma and says "ah there there love, sure she died a lovely death say a payer for her".
Il Guelfo